Wit and Wisdom from John Hannah (13)

I know – no one probably thought that I had more John Hannah quotes from my class on Jonathan Edwards seven months ago.  But I do.  And I’m not recycling them.  When taking classes from masterful professors, I lose all self-control in note-taking and basically end up with a partial transcript.  Actually, it’s a choice I made awhile back in my education when another helpful professor said that quantity is more important than quality when it comes to note-taking (especially in college).  Until you know the subject yourself, you can’t really know what you should write down and what you shouldn’t.  So write down as much as you can and sift through it later instead of writing down five important-sounding points and realizing later that you missed another fifteen.  It makes for harder work in class, but you get what you put into it.

In the weeks to come I plan to continue the series of quotes from this distinguished theology professor whose week-long Winterim class on the Life and Writings of Jonathan Edwards was a highlight of my time in seminary.  If you missed the first twelve posts, you can get the background by reading my thoughts about the professor (John Hannah) and my reasons for prolonging the series.  The links to all twelve are below; every single one contains gold.

I can say without a hint of pride that these posts are some of my best, because I’m quoting a man who has spent a lifetime walking with God, half a century wrestling with and teaching theology, and who has a tremendous gift for communicating theology and wisdom in a piercing, honest, and biblical way.  You would be wise to read and consider what he says.  Plus, his topic is Jonathan Edwards, unanimously considered as one of the most gifted and God-centered minds in the history of the church.  I don’t confuse giftedness with God-centeredness, but I do think that Edwards had both.

The book Charity and Its Fruits came from a sermon series on 1 Corinthians 13 that Edwards preached in 1738.  The following are some loose quotes from Dr. Hannah as he lectured on this work.  I’ve provided the general topic in bold.

Pleasing God:  Edwards said that only those sharing in God’s character through regeneration are pleasing to God.  In other words, you have to have God to be pleasing to God.

True freedom:  We think that unbelievers are freer than we are because they have more moral options.  But freedom is not found in multiplicity of moral options but in the presence of a virtual object to choose.  Unbelievers have none.

Being and doing:  Whenever I ask a man how he’s doing, he tells me what he does.  But that’s not what I’m asking.  I don’t confuse being with doing.

Virtue and motive:  Virtue is determined by motive and motive is determined by object.  If the heart is withheld, there is nothing really given to God.  This levels us all to humiliation.  I want to go out and cry.

Judging people:  We are to judge people, but not their motives.  We are to judge their actions.

Love and spiritual gifts:  In Sermon Fourteen, Edwards said that the essence of God’s communication to His church can be summarized in one word: love.  The miraculous gifts are not the supreme gift of God to the church.  Such gifts lack a durative aspect; love abides forever.  Not until the 19th century did the spiritual gifts become an aspect of sanctification.  With the decline of Christianity in our day, spiritual gifts have become an issue of power.  We actually believe that we’re special if we have certain gifts.

Rejoicing and weeping with others:  We find it easier to weep with those who weep than to rejoice with those who rejoice.  We like people to succeed — after us.

Freedom and necessity:  Are freedom and necessity opposing concepts according to Edwards?  If you can answer this question, you’ve got this guy.  The answer is no.  What is necessity?  It’s the overwhelming desire to choose a pleasure.  And that’s freedom!

Free will?  What people lack is not the ability to make choices.  People lack the ability to make good choices because they lack an object to choose.  They can, but they won’t.  They won’t, not because they lack ability, but because they lack object.

Ability to choose:  We have a natural ability but a moral inability.  The fall did not destroy the ability of man to make choices, but it removed the sphere in which to make those choices.

Theological views:  How do I come to make choices in relation to Scripture?  Upon what criteria do I choose among five different interpretations, all of which were held by brilliant minds in history?  I pick the one that answers more questions than the others do and creates less problems.  But what have I just said?  I have questions I can’t answer and problems I’ve created by the choice I’ve made.  That’s how I do theology.  I think that’s how we all do it; we just don’t admit it.  We just talk to ourselves and convince ourselves because there’s no contrary voice.

Self-love and self-hatred:  If you want to love yourself, love your God.  If you want to hate yourself, love yourself.  Build His kingdom, and you’ll have everything, because everything is in Him.  Build yourself, and you’ll end up in despair.

Part 1 – Monday’s quotes
Part 2 – Tuesday’s quotes
Part 3 – Wednesday’s quotes
Part 4 – Thursday’s quotes
Part 5 – Friday’s quotes
Part 6 – Saturday’s quotes
Part 7 – Quotes from biographical lectures (1)
Part 8 – Quotes from biographical lectures (2)
Part 9 – Quotes from lectures on Edwards’ early writings
Part 10 – Quotes from lecture on Religious Affections
Part 11 – Quotes from lecture on Edwards’ Trinitarianism
Part 12 – Quotes from lectures on Edwards’ preaching and Grace

The First Week of Psalm 127:3

Three thousand years ago, Solomon wrote a very simple and beautiful Hebrew poem.  One of the lines says, “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3).  Over the past three thousand years, the truth of his song has not changed.  We have beheld, and we agree.

At this time last week, Cindi and Judah were getting off of their flight at LAX, and I was waiting in the Bradley Terminal.  It’s been exactly one week since Judah came home.  It’s probably easiest to summarize in categories.

• Fun:  The best word to describe the last week with Judah would be fun.  He’s happy and smily virtually all the time, and he’s very patient when it comes to eating, diaper-changing, and meeting new people.  He has his rebellious moments, but I mainly say that because people would question the reality of how good it’s been if I didn’t.  His silent stewings are few and far between.  Cindi did a great job of training him in the weeks that she was in Uganda, so he already knows much of what we expect in terms of attitude and obedience.  Still, we’re very glad that we’ve had this week to bond and play and adjust before family and students pour into town.
   
• Adjustment:  The main reasons for the smooth and delightful adjustment (in increasing order of importance) seem to be (1) Judah’s age (19 months), (2) his easygoing personality, and (3) God’s grace in sending him to a wonderful Christian orphanage where he was loved, sheltered, fed, clothed, played with, and cared for throughout his first 19 months of life.  Although you can tell that he loves having a Mama who pays him singular attention, he’s not love-starved.  We are very grateful for this.  It has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with God’s grace flowing through a well-run orphanage.  We refuse to take credit for God’s grace and the labor and care of others who’ve laid a strong foundation for us.
   
• Sleep:  After the first couple nights when he slept well but woke up early, he now goes to bed between 7:00 and 8:00pm and wakes up around 6:30am.  Our only real battle has been naptime, but yesterday Judah only cried for 5-10 minutes before going to sleep.  Today he fell asleep immediately since we attended a birthday lunch and had to put him down much later than normal.  We know there’s an adjustment period for him, and this is fine.  It’s a blessing that we know his orphanage schedule and habits, because we know when we’re reproducing things that he’s used to and when we’re changing things.
   
• Orphanage Memories:  There are certain things lodged in his memory from the orphanage.  There are three or four songs that we learned during his singing time there, and he usually lights up when we start singing them.  They prayed before every meal and every snacktime at the orphanage, so he’s used to that, too.  Sometimes he “prays” all by himself.  Yesterday he found a Cheerio on the floor.  He picked it up, put his hands together for a moment, then shouted “Eh-men!”
   
• Talking:  The words he’s said so far (not just since he’s arrived but overall): mama, dada, uncle, auntie, kaka, bye-bye, and amen.  When Cindi lays him down to change his diaper, he gets this goofy grin on his face and says, ”Kaka!”  The first name award goes to our good friend Siona Savini — Judah said “Ona” on Thursday, the first time he’d said someone’s name.  He’s said it quite a bit since then, too.  His second name was “Scott” (Scott Newman), though his verbal emendation led to something like “Got.”  At a couple of dinnertimes I’ve tried to teach him some random words like antisupernaturalism, but he hasn’t picked up on them yet.  That’s OK — I’ll keep trying.  Not that I support antisupernaturalism, but he can’t be sheltered his whole life — you have to know about some of these things.
   
• Medical:  God blessed us with an immediate medical appointment, and Cindi took him in on Tuesday morning.  He has mild anemia, but that’s nothing significant or distinctly Ugandan.  They’re running tests on some other things, and he has a follow-up appointment on Monday.  We’ll find out more then.  His long-lasting congestion didn’t seem to be a concern at the first appointment, so we’ll just wait and see on that.
   
• People:  Judah’s gotten progressively less clingy when he’s around people he doesn’t know (which is everyone).  Here’s how it works:  his comfort zones are Mom and home.  Less comfortable is Dad, and least comfortable are new places and new people.  If you do the math:  Mom + home = Judah the ham.  Mom + new place + new people = reserved but happy.  Dad + new place + new people = sedate and straight-faced.  Dad + Mom + home + new people = fun and silliness with a minimally-cautious eye toward the strangers.  All in all, he’s doing really well with all the new faces and places.
   
• Playing:
   
  Toys:  He doesn’t really have any favorite toys yet.  He plays with blocks and balls every now and then, but he really likes the wood Ugandan coasters, the Tums container, and a small spool of thin ribbon.  Go figure.  This is why I’ve often thought that kids don’t need as many toys as we normally give them — they’re creative enough on their own.
   
  Outside:  We go outside a few times every day, and Judah seems to enjoy walking up the two sets of stairs in the courtyard.  He always wants one of us to go with him and hold his hand, so we’re thankful for that.  Neighborhood walks and trips to the park will become a staple over time.  It will be fun when our 80 guys come back to school and he starts learning their faces and rooms.  It’s a blessing to live in such close quarters with a bunch of energetic young guys who are trustworthy because they love the Lord.  They’ve already been very kind to our family, and we look forward to having them back for the start of another semester.
   
  Bubbles:  Grandma Heck bought Judah a sweet bubble-making blower that pumps out hundreds of bubbles in a few seconds, so we took him outside in the courtyard on Thursday morning and tried it out.  He absolutely flipped out the first time I blew bubbles towards him and would scrunch up his face in a smile/grimace when they touched his head and popped.  I think I actually had more fun than he did with the bubble-making, but his facial expressions are better.
   
• Bonding:  Judah is bonding very well with us.  He absolutely adores Cindi, and spends every waking moment with her.  He’s quickly getting more comfortable walking around on his own, but for the most part he wants her to be holding him.  He laughs and plays and basically acts like a big goof when he’s with her.  If she’s doing something around the house, he follows her around wherever she goes and just stands next to her while she works (preparing food in the kitchen or folding laundry on the bed or doing her email on the computer).  It’s pretty great to watch.  He’s getting more comfortable with me, too, wanting me to pick him up sometimes and playing and laughing a lot when we’re playing.  It’s pretty amazing considering that he’s only been here for one week, and he’s had very little experience with men.  We know that a full adjustment will take time — that’s just common sense — and we’re enjoying every step of the way.
   
• How we feel:  Judah is a blessing from the Lord, and we pray that we will be a blessing from the Lord to him.  We didn’t adopt him just to get a kid, so that’s not what I mean when I say that he’s a blessing.  I just mean that he’s a blessing.  We don’t feel exhausted or overwhelmed or emotional.  We feel fairly normal, yet still grateful that he’s here and continually reminding ourselves of how the Lord brought him here.  We know that adjusting to a 19-month-old is far different than adjusting to a newborn, and Judah’s personality, age, and positive experience at the orphanage are combining to make the transition feel like anything but a transition.  It’s more like a natural step.
   
• Lessons:  There are a few, but I’ll just share one.  Judah loves to imitate me.  I say this not because it’s surprising but because it’s sobering.  When he knows I’m doing or saying something for him to copy, he studies me and tries his best to do what I’m doing.  This is a sign of the responsibility that we have as parents.  We know that when it’s all said and done, he will do what we did more than he will do what we said.  And in many ways, that’s only fair and sensible.
   
• SCVTalk (Santa Clarita Valley) found this blog somehow and asked if they could do a story on Judah’s adoption.  It’s a joy to relate the story to others because it’s so full of God’s grace and providence and blessing, so I’m glad that Jeff Wilson asked.  The story is well-done, too.  My only hesitation is that these kinds of articles are usually written with a bit of a local-hero emphasis, as though we’ve done something special.  I don’t believe that we have.  This is simply Christianity, and Christianity means being reconciled to God through Christ and beginning the process of transformation into the people that God created mankind to be in the first place — those who joyfully and obediently reflect His image in all that they do.  You might pray that ”Welcome home, Judah” would stir people’s hearts in the ways that matter to God, and that people might see that helping others is not special but normal for those whom God has redeemed.

For the finale, here are the obligatory pictures and videos from the first week.  We have more than these, of course, but you have to stop somewhere.

On Monday morning I’ll post something that picks up on a topic that I left off a few months ago (hint: not the adoption).  I wonder if anyone can guess what that would be.

Family Picture at LAX (Friday July 13, 2007)

 

 

GOT JUDAH (Friday July 13, 2007)

 

Helping Mama in the Kitchen (Wednesday July 18, 2007)

 

Our Little Man – Judah on the Balcony (Wednesday July 18, 2007) 

 

Judah Enjoys the Mirror (Thursday July 19, 2007)

 

Happy at Bath Time (Friday July 20, 2007)

 

   

 Judah’s First Dinner – Playing with Mama (Friday July 13, 2007)

 

Judah Goes to School (Thursday July 19, 2007)

 

Judah Walking Up the Stairs (Thursday July 19, 2007)

 

Judah Playing at Bath Time (Friday July 20, 2007)

The First Hours: Judah Comes Home

It’s 11:13pm on Saturday night as I begin writing.  Cindi has been asleep in our bed since 8:30pm, hopefully resting and recuperating from jet lag, physical sickness, and a week of emotional and circumstantial intensity on another continent with the most precious thing in a mother’s world at stake.  Judah has been asleep in his crib since 8:00pm.  I just walked quietly into the baby room to look at him sleeping.  I’m sure that most parents do this often.  And that fact makes it no less special, for them or for me.

He’s sleeping on his knees, with his little arms curled up beneath his chest.  I had to pull his fuzzy homemade blanket up to his shoulders so he doesn’t get cold tonight.  It’s humid in Uganda, and they don’t have air conditioners.  He’s used to warm nights, and we’re trying to reproduce all the little environmental elements that we can for these first few days.  It’s nice that we don’t have central air — we just leave his air conditioner off.  Friday night he slept from 8:00pm ’til 6:30am (1.5 hours less than his average night at the orphanage, but still a good night’s sleep).  Hopefully tonight will be similar.

British Airways flight #0283 landed at LAX at 3:23pm on Friday afternoon.  My brother Mike and I watched the plane fly low over Sepulveda as we approached LAX.  Grandma Pack (Judah’s great-grandma on Cindi’s mom’s side) and her long-time friend Anita already had plans near the airport, so they were at the Bradley Terminal when we arrived.  Together the four of us waited eagerly as Cindi made her way off the plane and through customs.  She made it fairly quickly through the Residents’ line, but was told by the officer that she needed the New Immigrants’ station.  It wasn’t visible from where she had entered the area, so he pointed her to it.  She made her way over to the long, barely-moving line, and was relieved when one of the officials spotted her with Judah and called her up to the front.  She turned in the sealed packet that she was given in Uganda and was quickly allowed through.

Meanwhile, our foursome watched as international travelers from all over the world walked into the crowded reception area.  We began to calculate how long various groups were able to get through customs based on the big electronic list of recently-arrived flights combined with the ethnicity of those arriving.  We could tell when the Korean Air travelers had made it through customs.  As we started seeing Heathrow tags and flight crew members, Mike and Anita got their cameras ready.

We saw Cindi turn left and come around the crowded corner thirty feet away.  She was pushing a luggage cart with her right hand and a stroller with her left.  As they approached, Judah was sitting calmly in the small umbrella stroller, with a light blue t-shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals.  Cindi had changed him into his “California outfit” shortly before the plane landed.  The stacked luggage dwarfed his little stroller.  He was very sedate and calm, looking a bit numbed by the new people and bustling environment, though not fearful.  I bent down and said, “Hey, buddy!”  He looked at me, and looked around.  Cindi said he might let me pick him up, so I did.  He looked around for a bit, then reached for Cindi like he often does.  After everyone hugged and took pictures, we made our way out of the terminal and back to our PathFinder where we put Judah into his carseat for the first time (they don’t do carseats in Uganda).  He sat quietly for the first twenty minutes and then fell asleep for the rest of the long rush-hour drive up the 405 North to Santa Clarita.

On Wednesday night before leaving Uganda, six women and six children spent the night in a single hotel room at Entebbe near the airport.  There were six beds, so every adult slept with a baby or toddler beside her.  Some of the orphanage directors had wanted to see the families off, so they had graciously made the 3-hour drive and packed into the hotel room along with three adopting mothers.

Cindi said that Judah was happy and content on both flights.  Apparently he laughed and played with her on the 8-hour flight on Thursday from Entebbe to London.  He had his own seat, but he always wanted her to hold him.  Although they sat in bulkhead and were near the front of the plane, Cindi waited for everyone else to de-plane before getting off herself at Heathrow.  Judah took advantage of the line of exiting passengers and said “bye-bye” to every single one of them.  He then fell asleep within 30 seconds at their hotel in London where they spent the night.  He was equally happy on the Friday flight from London to Los Angeles.  The only two times he cried on either flight were when he hit his head on the armrest because he was head-banging (one of his favorite pasttimes when he’s being goofy) and when his ears were de-pressurizing for a few moments.  His contentment made the flights much more enjoyable and relaxing for Cindi, an undeserved answer to a long-standing prayer.

When we pulled into our parking spot at Oak Manor (the TMC-owned apartment complex / dormitory where we live and minister), there were eight big block letters on our garage spelling “GOT JUDAH” along with a big blue bow pinned to the large tree outside our bedroom window.  Co-workers and fellow church members Lisa LaGeorge and Rachel Smith had put these decorations up.  The block letters belonged to Lisa.  Various people would play with the blocks and rearrange them to spell different things.  One day Cindi left the blocks reading “GET JUDAH.”  From that time on (a number of months ago), no one would change the letters — until Friday when the “E” was changed to an “O” and they were transported to our garage door.

Friday evening Judah ate some chicken and corn tortillas provided by Lisa.  He remained pretty sedate overall, but livened up a bit as the evening went on (especially with Cindi).  He enjoyed meeting the turtles (see video below), and we sat and played with him until he went to bed around 8:00pm.  We went to bed a short time later, pausing for a very tired but very genuine few minutes of prayer as we thanked the Lord for His wonderful works on our behalf.

Judah woke up at 6:30 this morning, so I went in and got him out of his crib.  We gave him something to drink and then took him outside to see my good friend Siona Savini who was walking around in the courtyard getting ready for some work responsibilities.  Throughout the day we played, ate, walked, napped, and met other new friends like the Tatlocks, Jackie Knapp, Brian & Monica Gee, and Sarah DeWolfe.  He walked around in Jackie’s and Sarah’s sandals, threw wiffle balls back and forth with Sarah, and was entertained by the Tatlock kids.  He took a 4.5-hour jet-lag-induced nap and only sat up when we bribed him with a juice bottle.  He was very happy and playful today, even reaching ham status a few times.  Now he’s getting some well-deserved rest in the crib that we bought for him a year ago.

It feels very normal for Judah to be here.  We aren’t in any sort of parental shock, though we’re certainly enjoying every moment.  Perhaps the longer you anticipate something, the more real it becomes to you as you wait.  Of course, we were consistently kept from banking on it becoming reality, but this little guy was constantly in our minds and imaginations and, for the past two months, in our memories.  It doesn’t feel strange to have him here, though it does feel somewhat surreal.  Cindi said that it feels normal but temporary — like he’s not going to stay.  But we don’t care much about our feelings right now.  As we all know, those come and go in every circumstance of every day.  We will choose to enjoy God’s blessing and will strive to draw closer to His heart as the days and weeks and months go by.

As I walked around outside holding Judah this afternoon, I thought of how fast these young years will pass and how much I want to treasure every moment with him.  I also thought about how you almost never hear of how some famous Christian hero was a wonderful father.  Fatherhood just isn’t talked about a lot.  This silence is not necessarily because these great men of the faith were poor fathers, but because Christian history smiles most kindly on extreme giftedness, intellectual accomplishments, notable circumstances, and storybook sacrifices.  I will not argue with history or depreciate the saints whose lives have been rightfully recorded on its pages.  But I will say that as Judah clung to me and put his head on my chest this afternoon, I simply wanted to be a good and godly dad.  May our Father teach me how.

Judah Meets the Turtles
Friday July 13, 2007

(I find that often when I blog, I don’t really have time to journal.  I have to choose one or the other.  I never blog just like I journal, because I think that’s weird and because it can tend to emphasize introspection instead of encouragement and exhortation.  But I still sometimes write these entries in a way that will record details that I personally want to have written on my memory and close to my heart.  Forgive me if some posts seem overly-detailed.  I don’t mind if that’s your impression, but at least you can know why I include the bits and pieces.  I’m trying to do double-duty — sharing publicly about life and the work of God while also recording things that I personally want to remember.)

Entebbe –> London –> Los Angeles: A Little Boy Comes Home

Nathan Flook at the U.S. embassy completed Judah’s visa in eight hours on Wednesday.  He met with Cindi at 7:30am, and although his office normally closes at 3:30pm, he extended his day and told Cindi to come at 4:00pm.  When she arrived, the visa was finished.  She is currently spending the night in Entebbe near the international airport.  Lord-willing, she’ll board a British Airways flight on Thursday morning, spend the night in London on a long layover, and arrive at LAX at 1:10pm on Friday afternoon.

I haven’t yet decided whether I’ll pick them up at the airport or just pay for them to take a taxi while I wait for them here at our apartment.

Once again we are praising God for His provision.  This particular step wasn’t discombobulated like most of the others, but we do not attribute that to mere happenstance.  God is the creator of every path, whether rough or smooth.  I would appreciate your prayers for safe travel, the children’s compliance and contentment on the flights, and a smooth process as they go through customs.

Update:  The middle paragraph is a joke.  I wouldn’t dream of not being at the airport.  Apparently my sense of humor is a bit inconspicuous. :)